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NIVIDIA CEO: "Our GPUs Can Now Mine Feelings"
Revolutionary Graphics Go Brrr technology allows users to render emotions at 4K resolution. Stock price reaches new high as investors literally can't even.
Where stonks only go up and diamond hands prevail 💎🙌
Revolutionary Graphics Go Brrr technology allows users to render emotions at 4K resolution. Stock price reaches new high as investors literally can't even.
Tim Apple's cousin Tim Banana unveiled the latest fruit-based technology. Features include: being yellow, containing potassium, and a proprietary peeling mechanism.
Elon's twin brother Melon communicated entirely in rocket and moon emojis. Shareholders unsure if bullish or having stroke. "🚀🌙💎🙌" was his only comment.
Marketing department claims it tested well with skeletons. Stock crashes 99.99% as investors realize they accidentally invested in a meme. Doot doot.
Revolutionary partnership allows customers to trade volatile cryptocurrency for equally volatile digestive experiences. Shareholders celebrate with mild sauce.
Mr. Bubbles, a capuchin monkey from the Bronx Zoo, has beaten market returns for the 5th consecutive year. His secret? "Ook ook," he explained in an exclusive interview.
Click BUY when line go up, click SELL when line go down. It's that easy!*
*Not financial advice. We are not responsible for your losses. Or gains. Especially gains.